I Searched My Exes

A few days ago (well, yesterday) I decided to go on the oldest social media platform (Facebook)  to "search" my exes. Umm...it wasn't my finest hours hour but I had to do it. I had to see what my exes were up too. Were they happy and blessed? Or  were they depressed and miserable?  Is it shady to think that I prefer the latter?... ugh. Well, not all of them but just two of them. Okay, three. I wanted them to all be miserable. *laughs* I wanted them to be 50lbs over weight and bald! lol..I shouldn't post this. Admittedly, I didn't want to see them 'living their best life.' I didn't want them taking exotic trips with their new girlfriends (if they have one) while we took 'trips' to the park. I don't want to see them eating at a five star restaurant while they took me to chipotle. ugh! dammit! and I like Chipotle, too! ...of course we were all younger and on a budget. Still.... I want a f*&k-ing lobster too!

Anyway, ex #1, I'll say, broke my heart (first), so, when I looked up ex #1 on facebook a few years ago (don't judge me. lol) I saw that my ex was happily married. Married! ...Like after we broke up a second time--married! side note: I'm not bitter....I'm not bitter...I'm just saying, damn. Really! So, yesterday when I saw ex #1's , last few pics were memes about "how marriages are hard" and "it takes two to make a marriage work," I must say, a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland, stretched across my face. haha! Oh, and the default pic was depressing to look at. The About page had the 'status' part removed. And Overall, I was happy about it...in a dark-twisted-yet satisfying way. It was better than chipotle.

Ex #2: Now, this ex, *ugh*.... ex #2 cheated on me and then after we broke up, started dating the girl, my ex, cheated on my with! whatttttttt? yes!  A**hole alert! I cried more rivers than Justin Timberlake. I couldn't stop crying. I'd go to class and cry. After class, I cried. I cried before I went to sleep. I cried in the mornings. It was heartbreaking. Life changing. I loved ex #2 the most. Do I still have feelings? umm....I know, I can't go back because of how my heart felt when we broke up. Plus, there's a risk of having my heart broken, again. So, no. Never. After, this break up, it was hard for me to trust anyone...I always had one eye open and a wall up. A wall, as tall as, the one the President wants for America. lol. Maybe, taller! I can make jokes about it, now. Plus, I can listen to old songs we liked. Anyway, when I 'searched' ex #2, I noticed that all their pics were gloomy, cold, and depressing. LOL. I check the status. Nothing.. No pics of someone else. However, I think my ex was selling cell phones?? and/or t-shirts? or T-shirts with cell phones on them?? haha! idk...but I was like, oh wow, the mighty has fallen! I'll take it as my confirmation, that everything works out in the end. I dodged a bullet! Amen! Preach!

Ex #3: He seems to be happy (per default pic). *ugh* That doesn't mean he's happy but you know...I like too see sad pictures.  I don't know if my ex is single or not...his page was private...so... yea. Plus we're not "friends." Well, I'm not friends with any of them. I tried to be friends but it's not for me.  I liked ex #3...we got along. It was just bad timing...we wanted different things. I mean, we wanted each other but it wasn't meant to be. Like "let's get married"-- meant to be. It's a long story...

So the moral of the story is Facebook is good for stalking exes sometimes it's a blessing in disguise. I really don't know where I would be if things worked out with any of them. I feel stronger and wiser. I'm smarter when it comes to choosing people who are good for my heart. I literally make better decisions when it comes to love. And I'm proud of that! *yay me*

 Let me say this, I do not wish anyone "ill will" on my exes. I just like to see divine justice. That's all. *laughs*

Until next post!